Excellent Marriage Advice

If you don't know already, in order to keep your relationship or marriage healthy will require you to nurture it like a plant. This type of daily nurturing is required to always keep the relationship healthy, vibrant and long lasting. The last thing you want is a boring and dull marriage.

Understand that your partner has feelings and that listening is an effective key to opening up new ideas, feeling and concerns that you and your partner may have with each other. compassion and learning self control in a relationship go a long way in determining the longevity of a marriage or relationship.

Some people usually brush off good online relationship advice except that they do not realize how effective it really works to benefit you and your partner. Above all, to allow yourself to incorporate new ideas and methods in order to repair a relationship, can guarantee satisfied results to improve it for the better.

As you communicate with your partner let him or her know that you genuinely love them and support them in any way, in your relationship or marriage. They need to know that you are in it together. This in turn reduces stress and the anxiety that comes with daily life challenges and obstacles, that a troubled relationship can bring.

By all means don't let life take away your relationship because you were not prepared to allow yourself to fix it the way it really needed to be. Just letting it go and not nurturing your relationship allows you to take the easy way out to see if "life" just fixes it by itself. Life doesn't fix or repair relationships, you do.

Handling a troubled relationship with the right amount of knowledge will, most of the time, enable you to repair it and seal the deal. Although there will be times that a downhill of emotions will occur, it is best to reassure your spouse that all will be well and that the aspect of working together will create a better reality of how things can be, between you two.

Overall, the best advice on relationship is very easily attainable as you make that informative decision to take more knowledge and the unique methods of fixing your relation. Whether it would be getting an ex back or maintaining your existing and troubled marriage/relationship. Don't wait until it's too late.

33 Ways to Love Your Lover

MP readers share secrets for revving up romance

1. At the movies, share the armrest.
   
   
2. Save the last cookie or last piece of cake for your spouse.
   
   
3. Don't hog all the Jeopardy questions on TV.
   —Jim and Candace Walters; El Cajon, California
   
   
4. Squeeze toothpaste on your partner's toothbrush when you're doing your own.
   
   
5. Get your spouse's pajamas out and lay them on the bed.
   —Jodie, Joel and baby Caleb Haberstock; Vernon, British Columbia
   
   
6. Leave a favorite snack on the seat of your spouse's car.
   
   
7. Compliment your mate in front of friends or family.
   
   
8. Light a candle in the bedroom.
   —Michele Smither; Rochester, Michigan
   
   
9. Put down everything to greet your spouse at the end of the day.
   
   
10. Fill the gas tank in your mate's car—as a surprise.
    
    
11. Light candles with dinner.
    —Julie Jones and Greg Rohde; St. Louis, Missouri
    
    
12. Make a snack for both of you before bedtime.
    
    
13. Turn your socks right-side out before throwing them in the hamper.
    —Betty Arthurs; Tempe, Arizona
    
    
14. Be adventurous—meet for lunch at an ethnic restaurant you've never tried.
    
    
15. Choose a novel, then read it out loud to each other in the evenings.
    
    
16. Rent a movie you watched during your courtship days.
    —Donna and Ernie Siefert; Winfield, Illinois
    
    
17. Buy an "I Love You" card and mail it to your spouse at work.
    
    
18. Make plans to re-create your first date.
    
    
19. When the dryer buzzes, instead of looking at your mate, volunteer to fold the clothes.
    —Wayne Goff; Kansas City, Missouri
    
    
20. When one of you is indoors and the other outside, knock on the window and blow a kiss.
    
    
21. Don't put away stuff your spouse might want left out.
    
    
22. When you're finished driving, put the seat back to your mate's preferred position.
    —Amanda Brailsford-Urbina and Gerardo Urbina; Dearborn, Michigan
    
    
23. Hold hands instead of holding the remote control.
    —Conley J. Mercer; via e-mail
    
    
24. On cold mornings, go ahead and bring in the newspaper.
    
    
25. Kiss at stoplights.
    —Mike and Lesley Steenbergen; Garden Grove, California
    
    
26. Hide love notes around the house where your spouse will find them.
    
    
27. When you disagree, always acknowledge the possibility that you could be wrong.
    
    
28. When stopping for gas while traveling, buy a treat for your partner without buying anything for yourself.
    —Russell and Cynthia Atherton; via e-mail
    
    
29. Next time you shop for clothes, let your spouse vote on an outfit.
    
    
30. Get involved in a new ministry together.
    —Karen and Bruce Anderson; Spokane, Washington
    
    
31. Shower together and wash your spouse's back.
    
    
32. When your mate lies down on the couch, get him or her a pillow.
    
    
33. Get to know your in-laws.
    —Rietta Hingston; Saskatoon, Saskatchewan

GOOD SEX IS GOOD FOR YOU

by Anthony Fiore, Ph.D.
"Life without love is like a coconut in which the milk is dried up." Henry David Thoreau"Good sex....Improves our health and may even contribute to our longevity."
Scientific evidence is accumulating support what many of us have suspected all along: good sex not only adds great enjoyment to our lives, but it also actually improves our health and may even contribute to our longevity.
In a new book called Sexual Healing, Dr. Paul Pearsall, Director of Behavioral Medicine at Detroit's Beaumont Hospital, writes that the joys and pleasures of living life and loving may provide us with something called an "intimacy inoculation" that actually protects us from disease.
Dr. Pearsall, who cites numerous other researchers, concludes, "Growing numbers of physicians now recognize that the health of the human heart depends not only on such factors as genetics, diet, and exercise, but also --to a large extent-- on the social and emotional health of the individual."
Sexual healing is achieved primarily through the daily challenge of maintaining a close, intimate relationship which, when accomplished, leads to balance between our health and healing systems.
Can lack of sexual intimacy create a risk factor for certain diseases? Dr. Pearsall cites research and his own clinical experience ndicating that sexual dissatisfaction seems to be prevalent prior to a heart attack in a high percentage of persons. Conversely, sexual contentment appears related to less severe migraine headaches, fewer and less-severe symptoms of premenstrual syndrome for women, and a reduction in symptoms related to chronic arthritis for both genders.
Although the exact biological mechanisms are not yet identified, many researchers are investigating how our thoughts, feelings, brain, immune system and sexual/genital system interact, influence each other, and affect our health. There may be an actual biological drive toward closeness, intimacy, and being connected to other human beings.
When we experience intimate, mutually caring sexual intimacy, we may experience a measurable change in neurochemicals and hormones that pour through the body and help promote health and healing.
"Hormones that pour through the body help promote health and healing."
Does this mean that to live longer or be more healthy we just need to DO IT more often or better? Of course not! Sex is a much broader concept that genital connecting or having an orgasm. Psychologist and author Gina Ogden, Ph.D. notes in her book, "Women Who Love Sex", that sex has everything to do with openness, connection to and bonding with a partner, feelings about what is happening to us, and memories. For those who love it, sex permeates their lives and is not merely a specialized, time-intensive, physical activity that takes place under the covers--as quickly as possible.
As a result of interviewing many women, Dr. Ogden learned that sexual desire, or lust, was produced by much more than physical stimulation. For women, according to Dr.Ogden, it has more to do with feelings of connectedness in their relationships: "Heart to heart, soul to soul, even mind to mind."
"For women, it has to do with feelings of connectedness in their relationships."
When discussing sexual connecting, Dr. Ogden's interviewees spoke of a FLOWING CONTINUUM OF PLEASURE, ORGASM, AND ECSTASY, rather than a one-time experience. They also described peak sexual experiences as coming from stimulation all over their bodies--not just from their genitals--including fingers, toes, hips, lips, neck, and earlobes.
Obviously, arousal and satisfaction evolve not only from receiving sexual energy, but also from the joy of stimulating one's partner. Sex, then, is a commitment of give and take.
Finally, the women Dr. Ogden studied have their own concepts of safe sex, essential to experiencing sexual pleasure and ecstasy. This kind of safe sex does NOT relate to preventing STDs or pregnancy; it relates, instead, to emotional and spiritual safety. Such safety is CRUCIAL for sexual closeness. Most of the women insisted that warm, loving connections with themselves and with their partners were essential to and inseparable from the experience of sexual ecstasy.
When people feel deeply close while merely holding hands, they are having sex. When people display caring for each other through hugs, caresses, and kissing, they are also having sex. When connecting people in a crowded room wink at each other in their own secret way, they are communicating sex to each other; such non-contact sex can be excitedly arousing and emotionally fulfilling. And, of course, during sexual union when the sky seems to open so a lightning bolt can strike the couple--while fireworks ignite and the earth stops spinning-- this is sex, too.
But wait. Do men also need this almost spiritual connection to enjoy sex and achieve good health? Well, yes and no. Men need sex and men need emotional connection, but many men don't necessarily need to put the two together!
According to Dr. Bernie Zilbergelt, who wrote The New Male Sexuality, sex for women is intertwined with personal connection. For some men , sex is unto itself--an act to be engaged in with or without love, with or without commitment, with or without connection.
Presently, younger boys are being socialized in a more enlightened manner; consequently, male attitudes toward sexual union are changing. But,unfortunately, the socialization of many men born in or before the 60's provided very little information of value to the formation and maintenance of intimate relationships. These men were taught, as youths, that males showed love by doing, not by talking or "connecting" with girls.
"Fortunately, anyone can...restore closeness, intimacy, and sexual flow."
Older men were usually also socialized to be strong and self-reliant, which usually means one doesn't easily talk about or admit personal problems. Many such men do not acknowledge worries and fears to their partners; they simply try to handle everything on their own.
A consequence of such reticence is (1) lack of intimacy in the relationship, with the wife feeling "left out" of her husband's life; and (2) men often don't get what they need because they don't know how to ask for it, so they feel distanced and frustrated when they really want closeness and intimacy as much as their partner does.
Sex under these conditions creates distance in the relationship or creates sexual dysfunction which drives an even deeper wedge into the relationship. This is especially true if a man is married to a woman must be wanted by her husband to have her sexuality validated.
Consequently, sex routinely becomes mechanical, unfeeling, and unfulfilling. Fortunately, anyone can break this vicious cycle and restore closeness, intimacy, and sexual flow in the relationship.
About the Author:
Anthony Fiore, Ph.D., is in private practice, teaches sex therapy, and owns September Products, a multimedia resource center to enhance relationships and improve sexuality. 1450 N. Tustin Ave., Suite 200, Santa Ana, Ca., 92701.Voice: 714-771-0378. Fax: 714-953-9717.

Article on Love and Forgiveness

Article Written By: Linda Foltyn


How can these two words, love and forgiveness change your whole perspective on life? First, you must put your trust in something bigger than yourself. You may call it God, Spirit, Budda, whatever your faith is, trust that it has a bigger plan (could it be a lesson in forgiveness?) than your everyday troubles. What is the most important lesson you can learn while here on earth? Love and Forgiveness. But how do you get to the Love part if you have hatred in your heart? Forgive. It sounds so simple and yet it can be the most difficult thing that you can do in this lifetime.

You were wronged or someone betrayed you, how can you let that go? Forgive. Forgive and it will set your heart free. Here are some steps that can get you there. Feel your anger, feel your sadness, feel whatever it is you need to get all those emotions out, write it down and then throw it away. Give yourself a certain timeframe in which you will no longer continue to go on with those emotions. Now comes the hard part, trying to convince yourself that the other person deserves to be forgiven. Every time this hurt comes into your heart, say to yourself "I forgive "name" for what they have done". Every time you start to go over the scenario, and start to get angry or sad, instead replace it with "I forgive "name" for what they have done". You might not believe what you are saying at first. But sending that message out into the universe will eventually help break the chain of black energy that links you together with an invisible line of hate.

Hopefully it will hit you one day. You can let it go, the hate, the anger, the betrayal, how you were wronged and in a peaceful loving moment truly feel that forgiveness. The best possible way to break the chain of hate that connects you by an invisible link, is to stand and face this person and truly believing and feeling in your heart what you are about to say to them. "No matter what you have done to me, I forgive you" It is truly disarming, and can break that link that binds you. That's it! It may be a long and hard task to get to that one simple line.

What does it feel like? Once you have set each other free, your heart feels lighter, you have an overwhelming feeling of peace. You suddenly understand it all, the reason you are here, the lessons that you need to learn while on this earth plane. You will never be the same, because in every situation you can begin to feel compassion, humility and gratitude toward your fellow travelers here on earth. You can LOVE again. You are a radiant being moving forward in life.

Be Well

12 signs you LOVE someone

12 signs you LOVE someone




TWELVE:
When you're on the phone with them late at night and they hang up, you still miss them even when it was just two minutes ago.




ELEVEN:
You walk really slow when you're with them.




TEN:
You feel shy whenever they're around.




NINE:
You smile when you hear their voice.



EIGHT:
When you look at them, you can't see the other people around you, you just see him/her.



SIX:
They're all you think about.




FIVE:
You realize you're always smiling when you're looking at them.




FOUR:
You would do anything for them, just to see them.




THREE:
While reading this, there was one person on your mind this whole time.




TWO:
You were so busy thinking about that person, you didn't notice number seven was missing




ONE:
You just scrolled up to check & are now silently laughing at yourself

Love and Trust

A loving relationship is ideally the closest relationship two people can have with another person. Closeness means intimate knowledge. And intimate knowledge is dependent upon honesty, openness & communicativeness. For some people, lack of eloquence or lack of capacity for self-expression creates a barrier -- a barrier which is more forgivable than intent to conceil.
Open communication is a risky matter. People who have nothing they are ashamed-of in their live are more likely to be shameless liers & brutes than people of exemplary conduct. Telling deeds of misconduct to a beloved risks loss of trust and loss of love. Any person who can feel the riskiness of self-revelation for themselves can surely "cut some slack" in appreciating that their partner would have similar fear.
The situation is quite different, however, when evidence becomes undeniable of premeditated deception or theft. The ego & heart are wounded by such betrayal -- love can quickly turn to hate mixed with grief. A single revelation can suddenly illuminate a pattern of deception & manipulation through the whole history of the relationship -- and/or raise suspicions.
The desire to love entails a desire to believe in the lovability of the beloved. Love can easily be blind -- facts are interpreted through the "rose-colored glasses" of wishful thinking. Denial of facts may continue for a remarkably long time -- sometimes indefinitely. Hopes, dreams & plans are not easily relinquished. Remorse by the offender and forgiveness by the victim can sometimes lead to redemption -- but this is more often the exception than the rule.
Others -- especially those with a history of having been betrayed -- may err in the opposite direction. Incessant suspicion, distrust and resentment associated with imagined betrayals can poison the possibilities for love. Pre-emptive, self-protective disbelief in the trustworthiness of a prospective partner can destroy the potential for a relationship. (The same can be said for a suspicious ego that pre-emptively resents and/or rejects a potential lover on grounds that love might not be reciprocated.)
Trust can be violated by failures of competence -- such as forgetfulness or clumsiness -- as well as by conscious deception or betrayal. Although it is easier to forgive good intentions, any source of predictable lack of dependability undermines trust. It is normal that people love their children without trusting in their children's competence (or good judgement or even integrity). Some people have the capacity to love without trust of any kind. Whether such people are big-hearted or foolish cannot be answered
objectively -- it is a subjective matter. unconditional love can be a warm security blanket, but it is also not a tribute to lovability or worth. Love that does not discriminate good from "evil" is an undeserved reward.